My Little Monster

Little Friend has quite the personality.  He is always making us laugh. Here's just one of the many reasons why!

Brian Regan- Greeting Cards

Life has been pretty stressful lately, and it seems like I haven't done much laughing.  But this cracked me up.  And I think I could actually use some of those "Old Baby" cards, since I've gotten so bad at sending anything on time any more.  Anyway, enjoy!

Celebrity Lookalikes: Little Friend Edition

 

When Little Friend woke up from his nap this afternoon, I couldn't help but laugh.  One of my nicknames for him from the time he was a teeny baby is Chief Crazy Hair.  Today his crazy hair put me in mind of a certain "celebrity."  Just add glasses, a suit, and a mustache,  and you'd have Baby Don King! ;)

Sunday Best

I made Little Friend wear a clip-on tie to Church on Mother's Day.  He wasn't very thrilled about it, and tried repeatedly to pull it off.  But he looked SO darling I just wouldn't let him.  Mean Mommy.

I am a Nursery worker, so even though Little Friend isn't technically old enough to be in Nursery until the end of July, he usually spends at least half of the time in there with us.  He really enjoys himself, particularly when the treats come out.  But seeing him sit in a big-boy chair, wearing big-boy clothes, makes me realize just how fast he's growing up.  Sometimes I just stare at that perfect little face and want to freeze time.
 

Isn't he just THE CUTEST little person?  It's hard to believe sometimes that he's really MINE. Love, love, love that boy.

Today's the Day

 

As I sit here, awake in these wee hours of the morning, I am reminded of where I was at this time three years ago.  I remember waking up a little after midnight with what I was pretty sure were actually contractions and wondering if this would be the day I'd meet my son.  

I remember timing my contractions in our dark, quiet room while my husband slept.  I remember having to wake him up a few times because in his sleepy fog, he didn't quite grasp that my contractions were already only three minutes apart.  I remember my husband having to wake our new neighbors at almost 3:00 in the morning to ask if they could stay with Kiddo.  

I've mostly forgotten the drive to the hospital, but I remember entering the hospital with fairly intense contractions that just kept getting closer and closer together.  I remember being wheeled upstairs to the maternity ward, having to answer lots of questions in one room (and hadn't I pre-registered? So, why all the questions?) and then being told I still had to walk down the hall to my actual room.  I remember thinking that was just plain crazy, if not a little bit mean.  I remember deciding to stick with my choice to not have an epidural, but then asking for just a little nubain for the pain.  I remember that it didn't seem to help, but that suddenly my eyes wouldn't stay open-- not that I was falling asleep (that would have been impossible), but that my eyelids just kept closing no matter how hard I tried to open them and wondering if that was some weirdo kind of side effect.  

I remember being so glad that the incredibly kind midwife I'd seen at the very end of my pregnancy would be the one helping me deliver, and not the condescending doctor I'd seen earlier, or someone I'd never met.  I remember the nurses telling me to push and thinking that I just couldn't.  It was too difficult, I was too tired-- and yet, somehow, I did.  

  And then, oh then, I met the sweetest angel I've ever known.  He was plump and sweet and perfect, and we were so grateful, so very, very grateful. We couldn't have known then how short a time we'd have with this darling boy, or how awfully our hearts would break less than eight months later.

 

I have a friend whose son died at nearly six weeks old, about a year before Isaac passed away.  I remember reading a friend's posting on her blog that said, "The only thing worse than losing him would be never having had him at all."  When I first read that, Isaac was still with me and I didn't understand what she meant.  Now I do.  With all the pain and grief and sorrow that we've felt in these last two and a half years, it doesn't diminish the joy we felt to have Isaac in our lives.  As horrible as it has been to lose him, I would never want to know a life without those happy, beautiful months with the sweetest baby you could ever meet.  And we cling tightly to the hope that the joy we felt then will be nothing compared to the happiness we'll feel when, after this life, we can be with him again-- forever.

Today is a hard day.  I can't help but sob as I type these words.  I MISS HIM.  There is nothing like the ache of missing your child.  It is the deepest pain you can imagine.  I think of what he would be like at three, that he'd be talking and running and making us laugh.  I wonder if he'd look like Kiddo.  He was a go-getter of a baby, who seemed to do everything early and didn't seem to fear anything.  I imagined he'd be an athlete, but he was already trying to talk so I sensed that he was also going to be very intelligent.  And he was just happy, mellow, and peaceful.  Would he have stayed that way as a toddler?  Would he have liked the things his brother liked?  Would he be reading at the same amazingly early age?  I don't know, and the wondering hurts.

But today is also a glorious day.  It is the day my angel was born.  It was the day he brought brightness and hope into our lives.  And so, today we will once again celebrate his life.  We will honor him with kindness and service.   We will try to make him proud.  We imagine him looking on from heaven and smiling his incredible smile as he sees the good deeds done in his memory.  

  

Once again, many of our friends and family have pledged to do the same.  I hope you are one of them.  It's quite simple, really.  Just go out of your way to make someone else's day brighter.  Write a letter.  Forgive someone.  Share a treat.  Give someone a ride.  Mow someone else's lawn.  Visit someone who is sick or elderly.  Recycle.  Plant a tree.  Apologize to someone you've hurt.  Call your mother.  Say thank you.  Offer to babysit for free.  Share your talents.  Pick up litter.  Go to Church/the Temple/synagogue/mosque.  Decide not to argue with someone.  Give a book to a child.  Give hugs.  Donate to a charity.  And hold your children close.  Tell them how much you love them and how glad you are they're yours.

 And think of Isaac, because today is the day.

***If you would like to make a donation in Isaac's memory, there are many, many organizations we love like Heifer International, LDS Humanitatian Services, The Ronald McDonald House, and others which are linked on the sidebar-- and, of course, there's always your local library.  In particular this year, we support The Cure Starts Now http://csn.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&eventID=605&participantID=1106  in honor of Oliver Palmer.  Also, our dear friends, Tara & Aaron are  building a LIBRARY in LESOTHO!!

Dearest Isaac: You Are My Sunshine

In honor of Isaac's third birthday, I've finally created some videos with photos of our beautiful angel boy.  If you watch them in order, you'll see how he grew-- not just taller, stronger, and plumpier, but also brighter and more adorable.  He truly brought us joy each and every day.

Mr. Independent

One thing we are definitely noticing about our Little Friend as he grows up (he's 15 months now) is that he watches just about EVERYTHING so that he can turn around and attempt to do it himself.  In nothing is this more noticeable than in finding himself some food.  Before he was a year old, he figured out which cupboard held the formula and baby food, and starting pulling them out (it's a bottom cupboard, right at his level) and handing them to me when he was hungry.
But lately, he seems to think he doesn't even need to "ask" me to serve him.  One Sunday before Church, he toddled out to the kitchen, pulled the Cheerios off the table, brought them into the Family room and dumped them right out on the floor and started eating!

For our anniversary, we ordered from the "Chinese take-away" (had to say it that way to sound like Hyacinth Bucket! ;) ).  Our Kiddo won't even TOUCH our Chinese food because it has BROCCOLI ("EWWW!"), but Little Friend proved to be quite his opposite.  Not only did he love the bites I gave him the night we brought it home, he went crazy when I was eating the leftovers the next day until I shared.  And he was not happy when I told him it was all done.

Later in the day, we were playing in the living room when Little Friend suddenly and quietly disappeared. A moment later, he reappeared with the empty boxes from our Chinese food. He had opened the lid of the garbage can, fished them out, and brought them back out-- his face and t-shirt covered with tell-tale sauce!

"Was that wrong?  I don't understand..."
And yes, we do feed him regularly!  He is a deliciously plumpy 27+ pounds.  I guess the little guy just likes to do things for himself, silly baby! :)

Asimbonanga/Biko

Tonight, I was reminded of a favorite memory.  When Kiddo was a little toddler, we listened to a lot of the Soweto Gospel Choir.  He liked to sing along, too, even though he didn't know what the words meant.  At the same time, he was going through a phase when he didn't understand why we didn't sing more in Sacrament meeting at Church, or why he couldn't request songs.  One Sunday, he was restless and being a little noisy, but we managed to distract him somewhat for a while.  Then, during a particularly quiet moment, he belted out, "ASIMBONANGA!!"  Of course, with all the children in our Church, many Sacrament meetings are noisy, but I wonder how many have been interrupted by a two-year-old singing a South African civil rights song.  :) Anyway, watch this video and see the Soweto Gospel Choir's amazingly beautiful rendition.

Kiddo & Little Friend at the Park- January 2012

I think maybe Little Friend likes to swing... just a little bit.  What do you think? ;)

Kiddo's Presidential Poses!

Ever since February, Kiddo has been back on his Presidential kick.  He just can't seem to get enough of those guys!  He has even taken to posing like them when I want to take his picture.  Here's a little gallery of poses.

Two Andrew Johnson poses-- because we've never seen a picture of him in which he looked happy!

 

A George W. Bush smile-- although Kiddo calls him George W. "Buge."  No idea why!

William Howard Taft-- showing off the big belly 

 A Jimmy Carter smile-- see all the teeth!

His Ronald Reagan face

Looking "shifty" like James K Polk-- but celebrating John Tyler's birthday.  Yes, I did make a cake and we did sing "Happy Birthday" to the only president who gave up his US citizenship to join the Confederacy.  SIGH and :( .  Maybe this Presidential love has gone a wee bit too far...

But at least it makes for some good photos, eh?! ;)