Well, I'm not exactly sure how you'd spell my exclamation of choice if you were to make it a two syllable word... that's just my best guess. Any-hoo....
One kid from my Junior High days that I'm not likely to forget was a character named Nathan Holmes. I actually think we went to 5th and 6th grade together too, but my only real memories of him are from 8th grade English with the awesome Mr. Turner. Nathan, a short, unusual dude who sat behind me, had given himself the nickname "Swamp Frog" (but that is certainly NOT the reason I now like frogs!) and also decided that he was going to be my psychiatrist. I find the latter interesting, because at that time, I don't think anyone knew that my future would include actual appointments with actual "shrinks." Nathan would tell me he had scheduled sessions for me-- at "The Swamp." This "therapy" was always to take place at night. Was he sexually harassing me or just weird? I don't really know, although it was decided at that stage of my life that I was "not very good-looking," so I've always assumed he was just, uh, different.
So, anyway, the thing I remember most about him was that he would occasionally chant, "piece of cra-yup, piece of cra-yup!" Sadly, I forget the context in which he would say this, but I assume it was when something broke, didn't work, or was annoying. At least, in the many years since, I always think of that phrase in reference to things of mine that break easily, don't work, or are exceedingly annoying. Sometimes I even find myself muttering it, because I do seem to have really bad luck with my possessions.
For instance, today I was pretty close to insanely bored, and my grandmother's quip, "Only boring people are ever bored" came immediately to mind. In desperation, I decided to take Kiddo on a walk through the "neighborhood." Once you get about four or five blocks south of our place, you reach a lot of small businesses, many of which we've never explored. The first one we went to was a Kids' resale shop, and immediately Kiddo wanted to play. I handed him the first thing that I thought he'd like-- a yellow toy Hummer. He seemed to really like it, and it was only $2, so I was already considering purchasing it when I noticed he'd broken off a piece of it (the bumper?). Feeling guilty, I decided that yes, we were definitely buying it. Kiddo was happy; it is kind of cool, because both of the front doors open, as do the "trunk" and the "hood." Personally, though, I think Hummers just look like fancy station wagons propped up on enormous tires... So we went along our way, Kiddo holding tightly to his new treasure. Within two hours of our purchase, yet another piece fell off. I'm not sure that either piece had any real function but really, shouldn't it be more durable than that? "Piece of cra-yup, piece of cra-yup!"
The other thing that makes me want to scream is my stupid, stupid, stupid camera. Daddy-O bought me my first digital camera for my birthday five years ago, but after we had Kiddo, he realized that I was using it A LOT more, and that I might like to have one with more features and more mega-pixels. So, last year for Mother's Day, he bought me a new one, a different brand. I was SOOOOOOOOO excited, and began taking even more pictures. But within 5 months, I noticed something bad about this camera. It EATS batteries. It requires 2 'AA' batteries, which I initially thought was great because 'AA' are much cheaper than lithium-- well, theoretically... I go through so many 'AA' that I probably could have bought myself a new camera by now. For instance, in two and a halfweeks, it went through TEN batteries. Yes, TEN. I took, at most, about 280 pictures in that time period and maybe seven or eight minutes of "film. " I don't know what the deal is, but I get even angrier when the display goes from displaying a full battery to low battery in about 30 seconds, and less than a minute later the camera turns itself off completely. I would complain to the company, but I have had it for over a year now, and I have never found any documentation of a warranty. Dear Daddy-O, sadly, did not buy the extended service plan, either.
So, currently, I am silently cursing my so-called improved technology and thinking, once again, of good old Nathan. For,
Sing it with me, folks: "piece of cra-yup, piece of cra-yup!"
One kid from my Junior High days that I'm not likely to forget was a character named Nathan Holmes. I actually think we went to 5th and 6th grade together too, but my only real memories of him are from 8th grade English with the awesome Mr. Turner. Nathan, a short, unusual dude who sat behind me, had given himself the nickname "Swamp Frog" (but that is certainly NOT the reason I now like frogs!) and also decided that he was going to be my psychiatrist. I find the latter interesting, because at that time, I don't think anyone knew that my future would include actual appointments with actual "shrinks." Nathan would tell me he had scheduled sessions for me-- at "The Swamp." This "therapy" was always to take place at night. Was he sexually harassing me or just weird? I don't really know, although it was decided at that stage of my life that I was "not very good-looking," so I've always assumed he was just, uh, different.
So, anyway, the thing I remember most about him was that he would occasionally chant, "piece of cra-yup, piece of cra-yup!" Sadly, I forget the context in which he would say this, but I assume it was when something broke, didn't work, or was annoying. At least, in the many years since, I always think of that phrase in reference to things of mine that break easily, don't work, or are exceedingly annoying. Sometimes I even find myself muttering it, because I do seem to have really bad luck with my possessions.
For instance, today I was pretty close to insanely bored, and my grandmother's quip, "Only boring people are ever bored" came immediately to mind. In desperation, I decided to take Kiddo on a walk through the "neighborhood." Once you get about four or five blocks south of our place, you reach a lot of small businesses, many of which we've never explored. The first one we went to was a Kids' resale shop, and immediately Kiddo wanted to play. I handed him the first thing that I thought he'd like-- a yellow toy Hummer. He seemed to really like it, and it was only $2, so I was already considering purchasing it when I noticed he'd broken off a piece of it (the bumper?). Feeling guilty, I decided that yes, we were definitely buying it. Kiddo was happy; it is kind of cool, because both of the front doors open, as do the "trunk" and the "hood." Personally, though, I think Hummers just look like fancy station wagons propped up on enormous tires... So we went along our way, Kiddo holding tightly to his new treasure. Within two hours of our purchase, yet another piece fell off. I'm not sure that either piece had any real function but really, shouldn't it be more durable than that? "Piece of cra-yup, piece of cra-yup!"
The other thing that makes me want to scream is my stupid, stupid, stupid camera. Daddy-O bought me my first digital camera for my birthday five years ago, but after we had Kiddo, he realized that I was using it A LOT more, and that I might like to have one with more features and more mega-pixels. So, last year for Mother's Day, he bought me a new one, a different brand. I was SOOOOOOOOO excited, and began taking even more pictures. But within 5 months, I noticed something bad about this camera. It EATS batteries. It requires 2 'AA' batteries, which I initially thought was great because 'AA' are much cheaper than lithium-- well, theoretically... I go through so many 'AA' that I probably could have bought myself a new camera by now. For instance, in two and a halfweeks, it went through TEN batteries. Yes, TEN. I took, at most, about 280 pictures in that time period and maybe seven or eight minutes of "film. " I don't know what the deal is, but I get even angrier when the display goes from displaying a full battery to low battery in about 30 seconds, and less than a minute later the camera turns itself off completely. I would complain to the company, but I have had it for over a year now, and I have never found any documentation of a warranty. Dear Daddy-O, sadly, did not buy the extended service plan, either.
So, currently, I am silently cursing my so-called improved technology and thinking, once again, of good old Nathan. For,
no new batteries = no new pictures or video of Kiddo for who knows how long
Sing it with me, folks: "piece of cra-yup, piece of cra-yup!"
