Lately I've been wondering why it is that when you are pregnant, people feel free to comment on your size and appearance in ways that are clearly rude. For instance, if I had put on 30 pounds in the last few months simply from eating too much, people might talk about me, but I doubt they would come up and say, "Wow, look at you!! What have you been eating? You're huge!!" Common sense dictates that would be incredibly rude, and the majority of people would keep their thoughts to themselves.
Yet, when you are pregnant, it seems all bets are off. People who don't even know you feel very comfortable calling out, "You're going to have that baby any day, aren't you?" (Yes, this happened to me). In my experience, telling these people that no, in fact, you have a month or two left just makes them incredulous. "Oh, no, you won't make it that long!!!" they insist (Yes, this has happened to me numerous times throughout both pregnancies). I am not surprised if one of my six-year-old Primary kids tells Mom, "My teacher is about to pop!" But I am still slightly shocked when the Mom passes the message on to me!
Can't we just declare an official ban on telling pregnant women how big they are? Maybe some women, such as those who are ordinarily extremely skinny, like to be told they are huge, but I am NOT one of them. I think it is just as rude to tell an expecting mother she's fat as it is to say it to anyone else. Never mind the fact that she might also be experiencing: extreme fatigue, terrible backaches, leg cramps even though she's getting plenty of calcium, killer heartburn, shortness of breath and congestion resulting in buzz-saw-like snoring, frequent trips to the bathroom, and any other number of fun pregnancy symptoms (i.e., I also drool big time when I try to sleep-- but only when I'm pregnant. What's up with THAT?). I say, if you feel you must comment on a pregnant lady's appearance, say something kind, such as, "Wow! You look beautiful!"
Yet, when you are pregnant, it seems all bets are off. People who don't even know you feel very comfortable calling out, "You're going to have that baby any day, aren't you?" (Yes, this happened to me). In my experience, telling these people that no, in fact, you have a month or two left just makes them incredulous. "Oh, no, you won't make it that long!!!" they insist (Yes, this has happened to me numerous times throughout both pregnancies). I am not surprised if one of my six-year-old Primary kids tells Mom, "My teacher is about to pop!" But I am still slightly shocked when the Mom passes the message on to me!
Can't we just declare an official ban on telling pregnant women how big they are? Maybe some women, such as those who are ordinarily extremely skinny, like to be told they are huge, but I am NOT one of them. I think it is just as rude to tell an expecting mother she's fat as it is to say it to anyone else. Never mind the fact that she might also be experiencing: extreme fatigue, terrible backaches, leg cramps even though she's getting plenty of calcium, killer heartburn, shortness of breath and congestion resulting in buzz-saw-like snoring, frequent trips to the bathroom, and any other number of fun pregnancy symptoms (i.e., I also drool big time when I try to sleep-- but only when I'm pregnant. What's up with THAT?). I say, if you feel you must comment on a pregnant lady's appearance, say something kind, such as, "Wow! You look beautiful!"
Having said all that, I am sharing some entertaining photos of me, from last week. I should have had Daddy-O take a full-length side shot, because it really is kind of funny how much my belly protrudes... until I remember, that even after the baby's out, I will still have all that stretched out skin. And remember, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!!!!!
This is weird, because in this shot my face is what looks the fattest!
"Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?"
Looking like Octo-Mom, sans the collagen lips...
Finally, an almost decent shot!
9 comments:
Oh man, I had it happen last week, but it was my mother-in-law!!! I had spent the day with my sisters who were sweet enough to tell me how cute I looked pregnant. Of course I knew they were lying, but stil, it's the thought. Neither had ever seen me big pregnant, and it had been a few months since I'd seen them.
Well, that same night I saw my mother-in-law who I had seen just a few weeks prior, belly and all. Her first comment was, "Well, I gotta say, you're looking rounder."
Wow, thanks. At least my sisters can make me feel good :(
p.s. you look super cute. Sorry I didn't post that before...the pictures weren't up yet!
This was the funnies posts ever. I totally agree. Why is that people are rude. I also think that most people don't have common sense. I think you look great.
I think you look GREAT pregnant. I never looked that good...hence...why I never posted any pregnancy pictures of me. I have them...they are just hidden away :)
You don't just look beautiful, you ARE beautiful!! Those who comment otherwise are, as you suggest, totally lacking in tact AND they need their eyes and heads examined.
Love to you and Isaac (and the rest of your family) from Mom-mo/Gobby
Okay- I think most people forget how big someones' stomach gets when they have a CHILD in them! You do not look huge- you look pregnant! I remember with my first pregnancy people in the ward would swear I was "having twins" because I was "so gigantic". I think if they don't mind being rude, then they shouldn't mind a good ol' bop in the face! (really I'm not a violent person)
Wow! You look beautiful!
And I PROMISE I'm not just saying that!!
Seriously, Rachael, you don't look fat at all. The way your post was going, I thought I'd see pictures of you all ballooned out like the gluttonous human race portrayed on Wall-E. You look fantastic. (Sorry you don't feel the same.)
I remember one of my piano student's parents telling me at a recital, after I'd announced I was expecting baby #3, "You have enough children, I think." Ha ha! Gotta love the openness... (Or NOT.)
You look awesome! I will have to admit that sometimes I say things before thinking. The worst is when I'm trying to be empathetic and it all comes out wrong. So if I was ever one of those. So sorry!
Your almost there!
You look GREAT and your hair is so long and pretty!
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